WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Arent you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete
until she is married. Then she is finished
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I dont know son, Im still paying."
A young son asked,
"Is it true d ad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesnt know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every
country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of
imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think if it werent for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wifes an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "Youre lucky, mines still alive." "
A Womans Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength Ill just beat him to death "
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why dont you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you wouldve put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, wed be riding the bus . so shut the hell up."
